How to Look when Looking for a Therapist
Finding a therapist can be a challenge, especially for first-timers. I often receive requests from people who know that therapy is useful but don't quite know what to look for or what to expect when approaching a therapist. Choosing a therapist is more than just picking someone to talk to; it’s a personal journey that requires thought and research. I put together a little guide here to help you with a step by step approach in looking for a therapist.
Looking for a therapist is not an easy search because it is a very emotional process that also requires some pragmatism and a basis of knowledge. Don't worry, nothing too complicated, but you'll need to have some idea about what therapy is so that you can decide if it would work for you or what type is best for your own needs.
First Step in Looking for a Therapist: Understand Your Needs
Firstly, take some time to be clear with yourself about why you need therapy. Maybe you were referred to therapy or it was recommended by a friend, but it is important that this decision is personal and comes from you. Establish what are your therapy needs: healing from past trauma, understanding some issues or events, knowing yourself, making an important life decision, learning new healthy habits, having stronger relationships, finding new meaning in life or career etc. These are some examples. What is important here is that whatever your needs, you know them and you can name them. Not only this is your first step in the process of healing but it will also give you direction on what journey you will need to take. If your needs are hard to articulate, then the problem might be confusion or stuckness and these are valid issues to bring to therapy.
Second Step: Learn About Psychotherapy
After pinpointing your needs, educate yourself about the types of therapy available.
If you never had therapy before, do your research on the different types of therapy and what to expect from each. You don't need to become a psychotherapy encyclopedia and I promise you there won't be a knowledge test in your first session. Having some basic knowledge about therapy will help you make an informed and appropriate decision. So getting some information is something you will do for you. Use specialist websites or magazines to get accurate information. Try to avoid social media as not all psychology gurus out there are actually trained psychotherapists. Some reliable sources are on the BACP, PBS, Mind, Counselling Directory websites or websites of accredited psychotherapists or clinics. You can browse my blog and website for more information about existential psychotherapy which is the type of therapy that I practice.
Third Step: Assess Your Readiness
This step has profound significance. This is the research you do within yourself. Ask yourself: Do I have the time, energy and money for therapy? Whilst knowing what your needs are might be unclear at the start, with this question it is best to have a clear answer. I can tell you with confidence that it is worth investing all of that into therapy, but only you can decide if this is for you right now. Being honest with yourself will empower you. Even if you will decide this is not the best time for therapy that decision in itself will give you a step forward in taking life in your own hands.
Once you have an idea of the problems you want to address and what type of therapy resonates with you, take some time to think if you are ready for the commitment and how long for. You might decide for short term (6-8 sessions), long term (over six months) or open ended. However small the period, this is a commitment for one hour of your time every week (plus travel time for in person sessions). It is also a considerable financial effort and you need to have between £200-£400 available each month whilst you are in therapy. Know that therapy is not an easy fix and you should take your time to make your decision. It will also not show results over night and this will consume your mental energy for a while, just as much as it will bring relief and meaning.
Keep in mind that once you decide to start therapy, the therapist also makes a commitment and by rushing in or being uncertain and terminating therapy abruptly not only affects your process but also impacts on the therapist's running of the clinic. All reliable therapists will make what we call a therapy agreement or therapy contract at the start and it is important to take that contract seriously. That contract isn't there to enforce the therapy police, but to make sure both you and the therapist will be held safe in this process.
It is understandable that financial issues might stop you for pursuing therapy. Therapists are very aware of this and most of them offer concessions in one form or another. At the very least they can refer you to a low cost clinic. What is important here is to be open about it from the start. Telling the therapist you cannot afford to pay mid-therapy puts you both in a very difficult position and it might mean an abrupt termination of the process which can be quite destabilising on both sides.
Final Step: Contacting Potential Therapists
Having arrived at this point in the guide on how to look for a therapist you might have realised that the actual looking for a therapist is actually the last thing to do. Most people start with this and they end up more confused. But by following this guide, at the time you will have reached this step you have already formed a sound opinion about what and how much you need from therapy. Knowing this, what you need to do now is find the therapist who offers the type of therapy you are looking for, working with the issues you are facing and whose fees you can afford.
I highly recommend that you look for a therapist on the well established directories of accredited therapists. To be approved on those registers, we are being checked that we hold a valid qualification and level of expertise and that we adhere to ethical standards of practice. You can find us on the BACP, BPS, Psychology Today, Counselling Directory, UKCP. These are the most popular and well established directories. They include therapists practicing all types of therapies. Knowing your criteria at this point you can use your key words in their search engines to take you to the best matches. For example you can type: "existential therapist working with work stress in London". Browse the search results and read through the profiles. It's all about your gut feeling from here. Are there any therapist profiles that resonate with you and what you are looking for? Choose 2-3 and get in touch to arrange an initial consult. You don't have to get into details but it would be useful to give the therapist a brief background of what you are looking for so they can tell you if they'd be able to help or suggest a referral. If they get back to you to arrange a first consultation, go for it. Remember to discuss financials upfront. Many therapists offer a free or discounted first session. This first meeting is the chance to see if you get on well with the therapist, ask your questions and get all the details you need to make your final decision. If you've never had therapy before, it is good to see 2-3 therapists in a first consultation before making a decision.
It is very much like dating! This first encounter is so important. Be transparent about what you are looking for and ask for what you want. This will set the foundation of a strong and meaningful therapeutic relationship and successful therapeutic journey thereafter.
I offer a free 15 minutes videocall and a discounted first session for those who are looking for long term therapy. If you'd like to book, send a message at contact@theexpeerience.org
Wishing you the best of luck in finding your therapeutic match!
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